Farewell: Ms. Bozzani, La Canada’s Beloved Librarian, is Retiring
(Image Credits to Ms. Bozzani) A central and well-respected figure in the IRC, Ms. Bozzani, will be retiring...
- May 22, 2023
News
Chemical Leak Turning the Spartans… Gay??!
LCHS students and parents alike were shocked on Monday, March 13th, when they received an emergency notification from the school administration. School was closed due to a chemical leak, and not much information beyond that was given. The reason for such was likely because the administration wanted to prevent panic amongst parents as much as possible. At least, that’s what it first seemed like… But now it’s irrefutable. LCHS has a new problem. Clearly, the chemical leak has caused students to turn gay.
- April 1, 2023
On the Razor™’s Edge
The following is a recovered log from January 19th, 2023: Senior Scooter Day.
- April 1, 2023
School Funding to go into Rebuilding the Pool
After the recent chemical spill in La Canada High School which resulted in a school cancellation on March 13, 2023, the LCUSD Governing Board has decided to demolish the pool and start rebuilding another, larger, pool.
- April 1, 2023
Biden Declares April “Green Month”: Sales Abound!
After much pressure from environmental activists, President Biden has finally responded with bold action against climate change by declaring all of April to be “Green Month”.
- April 1, 2023
BREAKING: School scraps plan to salvage AP Bio class, starts teaching cheese-based economics
After a rough year in the science department, with teachers leaving one after another, the school board finally decided this April to give up on salvaging the class. Instead, Mr. Cartnal has hand selected a new class to replace it, “Cheesenomics 101.”
- April 1, 2023
Leaked Transcript of Mr. V’s Skincare Routine
Today is THAT day of the year– The Spartan was able to access Mr. V’s latest skincare video to share with his fans. Please show lots of love by shouting, “We stan!” when you pass Mr. V in the hallways.
- April 1, 2023
The Devil’s Gate Dam Is Being Refilled
The completion of the restoration of the dam was indeed a huge accomplishment for the collection of water and preservation of wildlife in our area. But, recent reports from the Government of Los Angeles County have indicated that the dam will be refilled. Why? Simply put, it just looks stupid.
- April 1, 2023
hark
Lauren Lee’s poem discusses the perils of inevitable environmental damage that erodes the victim, the earth, post-extinction of humans, the abusers.
- March 2, 2023
Coach Hoffman Achieves his 800th Win
The final game of the boy’s basketball season marked not only another league championship and a historic moment. The victory was recognized as Coach Tom Hoffman’s 800th, an incredible milestone for a coach at any level of the sport.
- March 2, 2023
The Menu Review
“Eat the rich” could not be more fitting for this satirical thriller with its massive focus on food and wealth. Written by Seth Reiss and Will Tracy, and directed by Mark Mylod, The Menu serves up an excellent course of both terror and hilarity.
- March 2, 2023
February in Florida
Recently, DeSantis has threatened to ban College Board from piloting their new A.P. African American Studies class in the state, with claims that the original course framework violates state laws and is historically inaccurate.
- March 2, 2023
Return of the (Green) King: Dr. E has Come Home!
Dr. Mark Ewoldesen, better known as Dr. E, is back on campus! Coming out of retirement for the noble purpose of taking over Dr. Faliero’s chemistry classes, it’s remarkable how a former icon of the campus has returned to save the day when the sophomores need it most.
- February 14, 2023
Opinion: Society’s Simping for Love
Media’s highly unrealistic portrayal of relationships as an outpour of constant and unconditional affection leads to a romanticization of love, which makes both finding and being in relationships seem deceptively easy (it’s not).
- February 14, 2023
