The Five Stages of February
By Pierce Hudson
Image courtesy of commons.wikimedia.org
February is publicized as the month of love and enjoying things (which is probably why it’s also the shortest month), when people take their significant others out on dates and spend quality time together while eating good food and giving gifts. Either people fall in that category or are in the stage of needing to admit their feelings for a special someone. Many individuals are, due to either social circumstances or economic situations (they’re broke), alone around this time of year and have no one to share their love with. How then, are they supposed to spend this month? What should you do if you have absolutely nobody and no one(romantically)? The first steps to take are: stop, drop, cry, and then check out this “guide”!
Step One: ignore the fact that you’re alone this year. Someone will fall into your arms in the next day or two, it’s just a matter of time! I mean, there’s no way you could be alone, it wouldn’t make any sense, logically speaking. There’s probably a mob of people waiting to tell you how awesome you are. They must have been waiting until February since it’s the month of love. Why is it taking so long though?
Step Two: Get angry. Complain. Those thousands of people waiting to compliment me are taking far too long. February is the least significant month anyway, no one is even born during the month. This boring holiday was made by sappy people with nothing better to do, all the way back in 1375. Valentine’s Day doesn’t even count as a holiday anyway.
Step Three: Go shop for hours and bargain with people for stuff you “need.” Since it’s the season of extravagant gifting, why not treat yourself? If no one wants to buy me designer clothes, I may as well buy them for myself…or, I would if I had the money. Maybe skip this stage.
Step Four: Mope around the house and ask the most fundamental questions of single life such as, “Do I need to be taller?” and “Am I too handsome?” You may need a tub of ice cream for this step; I can guarantee that it will help. Take some time for yourself to process your glorious singleness. It’s alright to be sad.
Finally, Step Five: Acceptance. At least mother loves me, right? Yes, it’s perfectly fine to be alone. What you should actually invest in is some alone time. Listen to good music, go outside, take in the breeze, listen to the birds, breathe in, and appreciate each and every detail in your environment. Embrace the world around you. Not only appreciate those around you, but the fact that you are alive. You don’t need someone to love you in order for you to love yourself. Being lonely isn’t the same as being alone. Consider the month as an opportunity to recognize how far you’ve come and that you are everything you need to be right now.
It has never seemed more okay to be alone. Expectations of fancy dinners, chocolates and candies, flowers, and presents may have overtaken and even replaced the time spent reflecting on how much other people mean to you. We have adopted the materialistic idea that spending money is how we should display our affection and appreciation for each other, however, this is superficial. Companies have sucked the love out of the celebration of love Rather than affirm the capitalistic constructs of February’s most popular holiday(its only holiday), be alright with being alone.
You don’t have to go through the Five stages of February. You can skip into acceptance and be happy through your awareness of other forms of love that you can express. You don’t need to follow a materialistic lifestyle or find someone else to make yourself happy.
…Or you could just keep shopping. Good luck and Happy Valentine’s Day, folks!
